Friday, January 29, 2016

Chapter Two - Getting Koalified

Chapter Two – Getting Koalified

       Today is a new day. A day of which my eldest child, Koalitim, becomes a true koala. His ceremonial koalifiers will be taking place at the bed of the stream, where he shall be showered with eucalyptus oil. Afterward, we will nap with great glory, to then wake up for his challenge of the day. These challenges will last throughout the fifth week of the fifth month, and will begin on the fifth day. Does it make any sense? No... But who cares, we're koalas. We literally urinate chlamydia. Anyways, the first challenge is to rid your body of all your hatred. Cleanse your body of all the bad koalities. To do that, you must grind up the eucalyptus and take a eucalyptus leaf and sprinkle the grinded up green into it. You then roll up the leaf and you're done. Guess what you're doing next? That's right, you eat it like a burrito. You basically made a eucalyptus burrito. This is how you cleanse. Once the burrito is finished, the next step is to sleep the normal twenty-two hour rest and continue on with the challenges. For now, I'm too tired to continue speaking. It's already been two hours and I need to sleep again. 

       Goodnight and always remember, I love you-calyptus.

Friday, January 22, 2016

Chapter One – The Fam and Their Screw-ups

       I had awoken from my deep slumber of the twenty-two hour night. Stretching out each one of my claws and roaring out a yawn of relief, I carefully open the lids of my eyes. Rolling to my right, I see my brother on his bed-branch and my motherless children hanging together on their bed-branch, fast asleep from our home tree. My brother, Koalafur, slowly begins to slide down his branch and lands on his bum in-between the connecting branches. The sudden rumbling noise wakes up both of my children, Koalify and Koalaton, in a sporadic attack. They both jump up in fear and fall onto the branch below them, thankfully catching them. They look around and stare at Koalafur in great despise. Shaking their heads, they both roll into a ball and fall back asleep. Brother Koala is crying in pain from his own stupidity, but I just don’t give koala’s butt about him. He’s a grown koala and should be able to take care of himself.

       As I sit there in complete relaxation and without a worry at all, I cross my front paws together and close my eyes once again, falling back into deep sleep.  

These are my Broalas